Friday, August 31, 2007


    No flashback again today - although I did endeavour to look for that elusive Physie pic of me *lunging* in my leotard, in line with about four other lunging, pointing girls.
    Seriously, you could have taken us out duck hunting, we were that good ...


    Last night, I dreamed about 'writing' in my blog.
    I'm not sure if I was awake or asleep, but i'm sure at one stage I was really compelled to come down here and type it all before I forgot it. Gripping stuff.

    The following is true ( really ! ):

    The first boy I ever kissed blew his own head off with a shotgun.

    Years after me, I might add, and nothing to do with me.
    All about another girl, I believe.

    I didn't like him anyway, and he was a terrible kisser.
    But I was in Yr8, and everyone else had been kissed, and no-one else was lining up for me, and when word came through at the Blue-Light disco at the local RSL, I thought 'yeah, ok then'.

    My girlfriend at the time tried to make something more 'permanent' of it, but man, if I got caught pashing at the corner shop after school, I would have been SO DEAD, and in a small town, my Dad found out EVERYTHING, even if EVERYTHING was nothing much at all.

    I wasn't going to risk it, and besides, like I said, I didn't even like him.
    I certainly didn't want to be seen kissing him in *daylight* !


    The 2nd boy I kissed was much more of a catch.

    He was a SURFIE, older than me, and POPULAR.
    Oh my God, I have no idea how it happened, but I was so nervous, I sat on his knee ALL NIGHT ( same RSL, different Blue Light Disco ), and didn't even talk to him. It was weird.
    I blew that one.

    NOT that anything could have happened anyway - see 'small town', as above. It was so embarrassing. I bet they all laughed about me for years ...

    He later drowned in a fishing accident.


    As far as I know, my Kiss of Death ended with those two, and no other men/man-boys have died as a result of meeting me.
    Isn't that nice ?

    How many readers did I lose just then ?


    In other news, I met up with some blogging chicks today, and none of them tried to kill me.
    ( You've got to be careful with these internet people, you know. )

    Although with my record, perhaps i'm the one to be worried about ?

    Not that I pashed anyone ...


    Damselfly said...

    Haha! The kiss of death.

    Tracy said...

    Yeesh, and you don't have nightmares about all of that? Just dreams about blogging? :)

    Melody said...

    True? That's bizarre if anything. And I know all about the small town thing too - my dad would've found out as he knew everyone and everything (so it seemed back then!)

    I'm glad the two blogging friends didn't kill you. They were blogging friends afterall and aren't we all nice? (Well, kinda?)

    Aunty Evil said...

    Well, you certainly caught my attention with the first line of your story (blowing his head off).

    I won't be visiting you anymore. I like living.

    Thanks anyway...


    Uli said...

    Wow. All that death doesn't make me stop going "he, blue light dicsco!" and flashing back to my own adventures at those little events. All of which were clearly more boring than yours. Still, "he, blue light disco!"

    h&b said...

    Tracy - yeah, I dreamed about these events - I kinda felt compelled to write them, although it is rather creepy.

    Around the same time, someone also tried to fix me up with that bloke that recently survived a shark attack by poking it in the eye ( from inside the shark's mouth ) and he ended up on Letterman in the States and a mini-celeb.

    I didn't like him, either.

    caramaena said...

    It sounds like it's only the ones that you don't like that you kiss that end up in a bad way. Good thing for hubby now (though perhaps he should take better care ;) heheh)

    Blue light discos... ah the memories.

    joanne said...

    i cannot believe you sat on his lap allll night I ddidnt even talk - so high school!!!

    Lazy cow said...

    I saved my first kiss till I was 19 on Fairstar the f**k ship. So classy :-)
    I thought high school boys were dipshits and that just proves it!
    WHO did you meet up with? Do tell.

    Gina said...

    Makes for interesting party conversation. Although, perhaps not if you plan on getting kissed.

    Cellobella said...

    seeing as others you have kissed haven't ended up dying dramatically perhaps it's not the kissing but the blue light disco that is the cause...?

    Or maybe kissing you AT a blue light disco is the fatal combination...

    Great story but.

    Janet said...

    yeah I'm with LC, who did you meet?? huh? I'm a sticky like that...

    I can't even remember my fisrt kiss, because I am old. Must have special eh?

    Suse said...

    I'm old like Janet, can't remember first kiss. (Do remember first shag though, so not completely decrepit).

    Who'd you MEET???!!!

    Violet & Rose said...

    Oh, and I can SO see this happening inside THAT RSL! Had a few pashes there in my time too, I might add. Holiday romances. Minus the romance. As far as I know, all still have a pulse.

    meggie said...

    Well hell, one of my 'ex' blokes robbed a jewellry shop, the told the judge it was because his girlfriend finished with him! Sheesh, I had no idea I meant that much to him. I almost had a nervous breakdown over that lot!

    Stomper Girl said...

    Me!! She met me. Again. (So she knew really that there was no chainsaw action in the offing.) And I know the other hoochies in Real Life so it was all pretty safe. Safe enough to bring the kids and let them charge around with balloons; can I just say H&B is a very organised mother. And good fun to hang out with on a Friday morning. But thank goodness I didn't kiss her!

    Kim said...

    This first boy I wanted to kiss killed himself under Roseville Bridge when he was 17. I hadn't seen him since we went to primary school together. His name was Liam and he had wild hair. I often think of him.

    The first guy I did kiss was on my 16th birthday and of course I was instantly deeply in love. So I bought a card (G'AH the humiliation)and took it to him at his job working in Grace Bros in Chatswood. We went for a little walk where he explained to me he was going home (to Dubbo) because there were things about himself he had to work through - which I realised was code for him telling me he was gay.
    It really doesn't get any better after that until Chef, but even that start was shonky.

    My float said...

    It's 1.30am and I have a bad case of insomnia,and all I can do is cover my mouth so i don't laugh out loud. Is that mean? Is it horrible to laugh at your death streak? Because I'm glad it's ended and I'm super glad you didn't bump off Stomper Girl.

    crafty said...


    Fairlie said...

    I'm with Crafty...Wow! I came to this post late, and it's all awash with kissing and killing. There goes your G-Rating! I dare you to run your blog through that rating system may have edged yourself up to a PG!

    Sheeps Clothing said...

    Gee, I never pashed anyone to death, but those RSL disco reminiscences take me back to the football club room discos. Far worse to not pash at all than to pash someome gross.
    I also had a boyfriend for the evening upon whose knee I sat. Not only did we not speak that night, we never spoke again.
    I grew up in a small town too and had one of those Dads who was oh so ready to defend my honour.

    bec said...

    Oh the joys of a country town romance! If there wasn't one who blew his head off there was one who wrapped his ute around a tree, or bounced out of the closet ten years later.

    Not surprised they're re-emerging for you now: don't you remember mid-trimester pregnancy dreams from the first time around?!!

    And thanks for the memories of Blue Light discos. And the capacity of adolescents to hold entire relationships in which any conversation was conducted via best friends...

    bluemountainsmary said...

    Bec is right - those pregnancy dreams were VIVID. Although the kiss and tell tales you tell here are pretty sad so no wonder you remember them so vividly. I can't remember who it was I first kissed - but I do remember it being slobbery - I was shocked and perhaps a little repulsed by the amount of spittle! No blue light discoes for me - I was barely allowed to go to the youth group socials!

    nutmeg said...

    Well, you all must be at the "beesh" by now! Hope it's going well and there's no sharks in the water - though you could always call on the help of that guy who poked one in the eye - he's still alive didn't you say :-)

    dottycookie said...

    Blimey, that's very ... unusual! I'm glad all went well with the blogging friends too.

    I've tried emailing you a couple of times - I have a package here from the Pay It Forward swap from weeeeeeks ago. Get in touch if you're still interested :-)

    Joke said...

    It's good thing you have stopped playing Russian Roulette with your kissitivity.


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