Thursday, May 02, 2013

    I Like Stuff

    Recently I ran into a friend in the socks-n-jocks dept of my local Shopping Centre. 
    We hadn't caught up in ages so we had a little chat and she asked me how the renos were going.

    I said to her the hardest part was (a) hoping my choices all turned out ok, and how my forte
    is fixing up and making pretty the bad space .. NOT .. doing things from scratch .. i'm micro,
    not macro .. the big picture is scary .. best focus all energy on knobs, then you can move
    onto tiles .. and hope .. all those micro moments = a big picture that "goes together"..

    In the course of this, I mentioned it's also hard because "I like everything" .. I mean,
    I could fill a seaside home with this look, then my inner city pad with another, and of course,
    there would be my country house .. all completely different and all would make me happy. 

    I mean, by by-line has always been "I Like Stuff". 
    It's true, but it's also ambiguous, and as I thought about it, also a big fat lie...

    Because I don't like everything, in fact, i'm quite opinionated on what I like and don't like. 
    Why I *think* I like everything is because I surround myself with people of good taste
    ( ho ho - that would be you, if you are reading ;), and so I find myself gasping and agreeing
    and nodding along vigourously with them.

    What i'm forgetting is that there is whole other worlds of people "not like me" admiring
    and vigourously nodding over ornate gold tapware and ugly bling-y things. 
    I remember Kyle Sandilands and Tamara Jaber's house was like that - all money, money,
    and no taste, taste.  According to me, anyway, and they'd probably find my style "homey"
    and "boring" perhaps..

    And recently, I was overwhelmingly bored to be shown Matt Damon's Miami Beach Estate.
    What's up with the downtown brown Matt?  Could it be any more blah?  Maybe it's cliched,
    but seaside living should be all breezy gauze white billowing curtains,
    Brett Whiteley artworks on the walls, potted plants and rattan.  Light!  Bright!  Breezy!

    Words to live by:
    You know the garden's full of furniture, the house is full of plants

    ( thanks James *mwah* )

    Ok, so now Angie said something to me by the Size 12-2 socks that made a lot of sense to me. 
    She said she had stopped asking her clients what they liked .. because it was too all over
    the shop, and now asks:   Tell me what you don't like?  She says while people are
    wishy-washy and inarticulate about what they DO like .. they are quite definite in things
    they dislike .. things that make them recoil, wince, shudder, vom, retreat in horror..

    So I thought about the things I can't stand and came up with this:


    I even used a Papyrus font, because I don't like that either, and it goes with all
    the other things I dislike.

    So this was an interesting project, because I just randomly thought of stuff I don't like
    and popped it into a google images search.  But look how well it all goes together? 
    It could  someone's LIKE board it's so cohesive.

    Starting top right and working clockwise:

    Tiled floors
    I hate tiled floors.  I know people like them when they live in the tropics, but I don't like them ever.
    Same goes for slate tiles in the country.  Love slate, love tiles .. but not on the floor thanks.

    Dark Rooms
    I can't live in dark houses, even if they're all swish. 
    Deep dark leather lounges, black furniture .. all wrist-slashing depressive territory for me

    Tribal Art  Unrelated, but I don't like seeing white New Zealanders doing the Haka
    at sporting matches either.  Seems wrong.  My mum used to be into a whole native
    American Indian vibe.  To be fair to her, it actually suited the house she lived in. 
    But ochres, rusts and blacks = not me.

    Always believe in your sooo-oo, you've got the power to know .. you're .. ugly. 
    Sorry Gold.  I don't mind a bit of Spandau Ballet, but I don't like you.

    Aboriginal Art
    Ok, so this could go under "tribal" but I note a lot of people seem to loooove this stuff. 
    I know it's a good investment, so perhaps that's why, or maybe they just like it,
    but I can't stand it.  It also ruined my wedding 20yrs ago.  True story.*

    Overtly Branded Stuff
    WHY?  Why would you want this Versace bedspread?  It looks cheap and tacky and everyone
    thinks it's a ripoff anyway, even if you did buy your Louis Vuitton handbag from the
    Paris Flagship store and not on eBay from HongKong.  Note also the use of black & gold. 
    Not a winner.

    Apricot Verticals!
    Ah yes, funnily, when I googled, I assumed i'd get a lot of images people had taken
    of the horror of their pre-reno spaces, but no, I got a lot of current curtain supply stores,
    and this seems to be still a bestseller.  mmMmmmm .. muted peach tones ...

    and finally..

    Visible AudioVisual Things
    CORDS and WIRES, powerpoints .. all should be hidden if possible, minimised at least. 
    Also, more black furniture here.  No.  My family sometimes leave their charges
    and earphones laying around and the cat chews through them.  I shrug uncaringly. 
    Shouldn't have left them around. 

    * what happened was, we booked a venue and they mentioned the art collection on the
    walls is always changing and it would be different when it was our wedding
    ( I think there were Impressionists up when we looked ).  That's fine, we said. 
    It was a beautiful old house built in 1856.  When we were married, it was a collection
    of Aboriginal Art, which didn't suit the venue at all, IMO, and it peeks out awfully
    in the background of all the photographs thus ruining them for me.  Yuck.

    Let's end on a high note though .. Celeb Homes I do Like ..
    click through for two different kinds of awesome:

    Elton & David in Beverley Hills
    Ellen & Portia in the Country

    ( to offset the ANTI- of this post .. i'll do another tomorrow .. a storyboard of things
    I *do* like .. promise! x


    Adventures of a Crazy Mumma said...

    comment was gobbled
    I relate. I shudder at some 'styles' out there and have never understood those stupid blinds that hang and get twisted, let alone in peach tones..

    whilst we are talking styles, am i missing something? potterybarn has opened? yeah and? over priced clunky wanna be in the hamptons comes to mind.

    h+b said...

    Oooh - I love me a bit of PB, sorry! :D

    I love West Elm even more though.. :)

    Melody said...

    PotteryBarn - I'm with Crazy Mumma - whoopee-do. I can only imagine how overpriced everything would be. Yeah all looks fancy in the shop but at home? Unless you have a million dollar budget; go for it.

    We have tiles in the living area - mainly because all homes up here come with them. But I wouldn't choose them for the love of god. Floorboards please. And carpet in the bedrooms. I'm not into dark furniture either - black (urgh) but we do have a dark stained wooden (lovely) bed and a couple of the dark brown IKEA shelves. But we lived in a white Abu Dhabi Villa and needed something not white (& relatively cheap!) Verticals. Urgh.. Who invented those awful things? Unfortunately we have them in two bedrooms and the balcony door (whose blinds we never close). But at least they aren't peachy!

    Angie said...

    You are so freaking hysterical - I'm going to hang out in the sock department again next week so I might bump into you! :) xoxo

    Heidi said...

    I think most people have a general like list of a lot of things that don't necessarily go together... honing in on what you don't like is probably a smart way of focussing on what you do and making it work.
    The Versace bedspread made me laugh - have you seen the Fendi sofas? Google and have a look. Can't imagine why you'd want to spend huge amounts of money on a leather sofa with big Fendi logos embroidered on the backs. Looked straight out of Los Vegas to me. Vertical blinds are horrendous and should be burnt on a pyre. They don't give you any privacy, they don't block out light, they're ugly... what is the point?

    K-L said...

    L.M.F.A.O! I call myself 'eclectic' but it is a sydonymn for loving too many styles and perhaps being confused. But, I KNOW, like you, what I DONT like. With clients (friends who can't afford a professional 'cause I aint one and I'm free!), I work backwards....a matter of elimination and bingo, we have the winning item, colour or theme! x KL

    Katja @ Shift Ctrl ART said...

    I think Ellen is decorating circles around Elton ;)

    I think I share your group of 8... Trying to see if I could add to that...

    I think you pretty much covered it with your link to Matt's house. My other dislike. I call it "sea of brown".

    little miss olive said...

    hahaha! i didn't like any of that "stuff" either!

    those vertical drapes make me itch with hate. YUCK!

    muser said...

    Totally with you on the DISlikes.

    ellabellabooblog said...

    The only thing worse than tiles are tiles on the diagonal. With vertical blinds. Pewk. I also dislike gold, bling and houses without eaves. I knew I had a reason for liking you. You've got class. You're classy, but not CLASSY.

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